No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
