don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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