he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
