we made out on top of his cat.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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