I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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