I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The adults are the big ones right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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