a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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