thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
