nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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