Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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