Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
