Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
