Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
