Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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