I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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