We're like a lot better than the average bears
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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