We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
