Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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