matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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