The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
