I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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