It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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