you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
