She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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