whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
