what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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