Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
