that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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