the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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