i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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