your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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