is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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