well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize