he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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