She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
