i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
