white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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