Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
