I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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