Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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