The maid of honor just puked.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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