even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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