Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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