one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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