you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize