I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
