Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize