Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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