We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
