More tranny stories later!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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