She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
