Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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