I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
