is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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