You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
