well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize