Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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