i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
