That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
