your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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