so explain again why im purple
no
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
