Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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