And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
