I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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