I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
