Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize