ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
