apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize