I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize