They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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