hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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