Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
