I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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